Step Three: December 3, 2007

We braved the snow and attended worship with about twenty-five others at the little church we are currently attending (singing in). I wouldn’t have missed it in spit of my love/hate relationship with "the church". If I have the honour of you following along in my mutterings I’d better spent a few lines on the "love" part of that relationship since most of the time I’m finding faults with and "doomifying" the church.

No matter the denomination, Catholic, Baptist, United, etc., I love the people and the clergy. As they understand it they are sincere and are trying to be good. They are coming together in a way that is meaningful to them and in which their experience has shown can bring them closer to God. Together and alone they are there to hear what God has to say to them. In church they hear and talk about things that are much greater than themselves. They are presented with ideals and absolutes that they know can not be achieved but only, perhaps, be approached. But the best of things, like LOVE, FAITH, HOPE and JOY are put out there to be looked at and searched for.

Where else in our society does that happen? Who else has the nerve, audacity or good sense to strive for these great things? What other other beacon do we have? When I share in worship I am greatly strengthened by the others around me because the fact is that things happen in groups that simply can not happen when alone. Even when I am deeply aware of being different in some understandings, in background, colour or age, just the fact that others share the space and the assumption/knowledge that we are all God’s children and that God IS and with us. What more unifying force could there be? How could that not bring strength to me? Even the fact of my discomfort with so much that is or is not happening within churches enhances my need for community worship. The very act brings into focus the truth that God is bigger than each and all of us; that God is very well indeed if Her Spirit can be heard is so many ways.
And I need the reminder (time and time again) that mine is not the only WORD and way. Every person around me has their own journey and calling. Mine is only one and no more important to me than are others to themselves. It is only in the coming together that these differences and similarities can be shared, questioned and understood. A church should be where all that can happen. Sometimes it does. That it often doesn’t is not a reason to condemn but to critique and to try harder.

Churches remind us that we are not traveling in a vacuum but come from a past and with others. The traditions and stories of the past need to be part of us before they can be understood and the lessons relearned in our time. Who/What but the churches try to pass this on?

I may be saddened by what does or does not happen in church, I may be called to question the limitations of the system and the narrowness of the prophetic call and understanding; I may believe that perhaps the only way forward is death and then resurrection. But I am as much a part of the Christian Church as any. If I didn’t love, value and respect it, If I didn’t desire deeply its rebirth in faithfulness I would abandon it – give it up for nothing or try to foster an alternative.

Step Four: December 4, 2007